Why I’m passionate about Special Needs Planning

When I was growing up, my mom worked in a residential facility for disabled children and adults. Lucy, a young girl with Down Syndrome, would occasionally come home with my mom. So, Lucy and I would spend the day playing and hanging out. I never saw Lucy or any of the other individuals I met as different than me. When I turned 13 years old, I started volunteering at the institution, going to the state Fair, shopping, circus, Special Olympics, weekend camps, you name it we did it. There was nothing that myself and whichever individual I was with could not accomplish together. Sometimes new activities took a little longer, but that did not mean they were uncapable of accomplishing. The honest thing was I never saw any of my friends from the institution as any different from me, until my senior year in high school.

The Fall of 1987 the federal mandate to close the residential facility was in full force. Some of the individuals in charge decided that a group of students should be bused to the local high school instead of them attending the classes at the institution. I was excited to see some of my friends coming to my high school and would be a student aide in their classroom one period every day. My excitement turned into total dismay the day the bus pulled up to the front of the high school. My fellow students stared, ridiculed and acted like total jerks when they saw the students from the institution get off the bus. I could not understand the horrible reaction and defended by friends. That afternoon, the teacher of the class thanked for coming to their defense, but I just could not understand why it was needed and how could people have reacted so horribly. That was when I realized that no matter the disability, I did not see it as anything but “normal” because I had always been around individuals with many differences, my “normal” high school peers did not share my experiences. I am happy to report that it took many conversations and positive experience to change the attitudes of students, but the year ended with a greater understanding for everyone. 

After graduating from high school, I went to work for the school district at the institution until it closed and then transitioned into community-based programs with individuals from the institution. There was a steep learning curve for individuals when they moved into the community. For example, the canteen at the institution had vanilla ice cream, when one young man went to Baskin Robbins the first time, he had a major melt down due to so many choices. The experience with this transition lead to my belief that individuals should be allowed to make choices and express their dreams and desires for their life.

Fast forward a few years, I became the very proud mom of Matthew and 7 years later Jeremiah. Both of my wonderful sons are the light of my life, they also have down syndrome. Needing to work and take care of the boys lead me to becoming a special education teacher. I spent several years helping families transition from public education system into adulthood. I discovered that often parents had been told all the things their child would never be capable of doing, leading to low or no expectations of any independence. I will never forget the first time a parent realized the abilities of her son. He was 20 years old and she still did everything for him, including bathing, dressing, and brushing his teeth. He had an accident at school, and I simply gave him his clothes and sent him into the bathroom to change. After, he assisted washing and drying his dirty clothes. When mom picked him up that afternoon, I let her know about the accident and that he had changed and washed his clothes. She broke down in tears, explaining the doctors said he would never be capable of such activities. Needless to say life in their household drastically changed after that; she stopped doing everything for him and encouraged him to make choices, and spread his wings. In my class, our motto was to shoot for the moon, because even if we missed, we landed among the stars. My students had someone who believed they were CAPABLE, and they could achieve their dreams, if they simply dared to try. 

My experience has brought me to this work. I am not just a mom, teacher, friend, or Financial Planner, I am all those things rolled into one. I am passionate about helping individuals and their families to dream big. I want to help break those dreams down into manageable steps, find solutions to barriers, build a support system, and plan for long-term stability. Life is short, don’t spend time worrying about the future, plan for it.